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54 Thoughts That Go Through A Girl’s Head When Texting a New Crushng


When you’re dating a replacement guy, a point of awkwardness may be a given. But few things are more painfully gut wrenching than the nuances of early stage text messaging.
In some ways, texting may be a blessing. Just think – previous generations had to truly verbalize words and sentences over the phone to speak with a replacement love interest. The horror!
You had to be “on” all the time, you had to be during a quiet location, and worst of all, you had to talk extemporaneously without the posh of your time to consider a well-crafted response.
Unfortunately, the downside of texting is that the anxiety is drawn out over several minutes, hours, and sometimes even days. and through this point a cornucopia of thoughts can flood your head – many of them irrational and a few just plain batshit.
Fess up, ladies. Anyone who’s ever been single has thunk the bulk of those thoughts while texting a man during the initial stages of dating. We never said it had been pretty.
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Hmm, I haven’t heard from this guy all day.Maybe I should text him.After all, he did send the last text yesterday.But it had been just an emoji, so does that count?I wonder if he wants me to text first since he sent the last text.But doesn’t the onus of texting first reset to neutral if it’s a replacement day?What if he’s sitting there, willing me to text him and exercising extreme self-control in not texting me.Screw it, I’m a contemporary woman. I will be able to text him.Um, what should I say? Let’s see… “Hey sexy, how’s it going?”Ack, not “sexy.” That’s too… sexual. He's sexy though.Maybe, “Hey there, what’s up? ;)”No, winky smiley might be misinterpreted.I’ve got it: “Hey there cutie, how’s your day?:)”Adding “cutie” is sweet . Makes me seem confident enough to call him cutie. And who doesn’t like being called cutie?Wait, should I put the smiley face or is that too juvenile?No, it’s good. It’s friendly.OMG, OMG, I’m hitting send! Here I go!Dunzo. No turning back now.I feel good about this.It’s been a moment . Calm down, girl. One minute is nothing.It’s been two minutes. Maybe he’s trying to consider what to mention . Wait, did I silence my phone earlier? No. All sounds on. WTF, it’s been six minutes. Wait, did he text and that i missed it? Better check. Nope, no text. Grrr. It’s been 11 fucking minutes. This was a nasty idea. Why did I text him? I should’ve just let him text me. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Let’s be rational. Maybe he’s swimming within the ocean and doesn’t have his phone on him. or even he’s driving. I wouldn’t want him to text and drive. What if he’s with another girl? he's definitely with another girl. it's been 20 minutes. there's no other explanation. MOTHERFUCKING DICK! Clearly, I'm driving him away with my overeager text messages. I'm totally unattractive to him now. Wait a second… Maybe he didn’t get my text. There was that just one occasion when my phone wasn’t downloading all of my texts. Technology doesn’t always work because it should. simply because cell phones are robots doesn’t mean they don’t make mistakes. Perhaps I should text again. to form sure he got my last text. But what if technology did work because it should? Then I’d be double texting and he’ll think I’m some psycho stalker. DAMMIT I JUST CAN’T WIN! it's been 34 freaking minutes. Really??? Honestly, this is often just rude. It takes like what, two seconds to send a text. Okay, maybe 20 seconds if you’re writing something meaningful. But still. Aren’t I worth 20 seconds to the present jerk? Maybe waiting an hour to text back is that the equivalent of the wait-three-days-to-call rule from “Swingers.”Whatevs. If he can’t spare 20 seconds to reply during a timely manner, he’s clearly not the guy on behalf of me . delay — INCOMING! Ermahgerd! It’s him! What does it say? “I’m good, how ru?:)” Aww, he put on a smiley! Still… It took the entire hour for that? I’ll text him back… …In two hours.